Day 12+... actually I've lost count

Oct 15th, 11:07: Sorry it's late. It's now, what, 3 weeks since we finished and already it seems so long ago I can scarcely believe any of it ever happened. If I hadn't been presented two days ago with photos from the start and finish I could easily dismiss the whole thing as the diseased imaginings of a disturbed mind. Luckily then, it would seem that that remains unproven.
Thanks are due to Carol & the rest of Skill for their support of us and the kind words we blackmailed them into putting on the blog for us. It's amazing what you can convince people to say for the thick end of £70,000 (just kidding!).
So, what were the best bits of the whole thing then? Well, actually finishing, obviously, but along the way there were a lot of laughs, a lot of frustration, a few bits of stupidity, some warm & fuzzy moments and some thoroughly cold damp and miserable ones. I've no idea how to organise these moments into a coherent list so I'll just fire out the best & worst bits as I see them, in the order they occur to me....

Funniest quotes (brace yourselves people)

• "I didn't know they had kangaroos in Scotland" - so said Carl upon seing a large, dead hare at the side of the road. To be fair, I've since found out that there is, in fact, a sizeable population of wild wallabies in Scotland, but I'm fairly sure this particular bit of roadkill wasn't one of them. And it's fun to laugh at Carl.
• "Does anyone want to smell my box? It's disgusting" - Becks, having been tasked with cleaning out a coolbox which had turned a bit whiffy.
• "I don't want the grass tickling my clit" - Jenny explaining why she wouldn't pee beside the road no matter how desperate she was.

High points (and I don't necessarily mean geographically)

• Beating Shap Fell. This hill has a fearsome reputation and I honestly don't think anyone really expected to get over it without walking - for all my outward determination and excitement at having a crack at it, I must confess I was cacking myself on the inside. Not literally.
• Beating Berriedale. Especially as it was double sneaky and pretended to be finished when it wasn't.
• Reaching John o'Groats.
• In fact, actually starting from Land's End - it was always an ambitious project and again I think it's time to confess I never really expected it to happen at all.
• The overwhelming support we've been shown by everyone, even complete strangers who donated money at various Travelodges etc. I may take to hanging out at these places in a sponsorship t-shirt and claiming to be doing something for charity, clearly there's good money to be scammed here.
• Passing a roadsign sent by a higher power warning that Frustration Causes Accidents, on the day that constant stops and delays were causing me to get proper stroppy. You couldn't script that stuff.

Low points

• Youth hostels.
• Hideous lashing rain and vicious sidewinds on days 8 & 10. Admittedly it did reach a point where we were all so cold & wet it was actually funny, but getting to that point was miserable.
• Youth hostels. Yep, they were that bad I feel I have to mention them twice.
• Throwing a strop, chucking my helmet away then realising I'd lost my bluetooth. And realising I was being a moron.
• Realising Veljko's shorts had turned transparent when riding behind him. I haven't slept since.
• Youth hostels.

Full list of mechanical challenges (you'll be amazed how short this is):

• 3 punctures.
• 2 tyre changes.
• 2 gear realignments (FOC courtesy of Halfords in Shrewsbury).
• 2 brake checks.
• 1 seat adjustment (clutching at straws now).
• 2 handlebar tape reapplications.

Most spectacular crash award

• Mark, for piling into (and denting) his own car on an otherwise deserted road. Genius.

Second most spectacular crash award

• Andy, for braking suddenly and without warning and thereby causing a pile-up behind him whilst managing not to be involved in it himself. And then trying to deny his guilt.
• In joint second is the potentially near-fatal crash we almost avoided on the way back, when some idiot narrowly missed a head-on with Clare, Veljko, Andy & myself in Mark's Merc and ended up just taking out the driver's door mirror instead. Mark, who was in Jenny's car behind, later revealed he thought we'd had it for a moment. I missed it.

Most important items to take with you award (when did this turn into an awards ceremony?)

• Lisa, Clare and Jenny. End of.

I'm sure there's lots more meaningless, inane drivel I could add - best places to stay, maybe? - and perhaps I will. It'd be nice to think of reasons to keep this going.

Keith